About 15 years ago I took a big risk. I left a really comfortable life to pursue a bigger dream. I had a job I liked and was good at, a decent amount of time for leisure, and enough money to get by.
It wasn’t an easy decision to give up that life for law school. Things were comfortable and there really was no pressing need for change.
I knew law school would be a complete 180. I’d have to give up my job, which was my only source of income, and take out student loans. I had no debt from undergrad, so making the decision to take out that much debt in my mid-twenties wasn’t an easy one.
I’d also have to give up my lifestyle. Going out a few nights a week and lounging around the next day was no big deal prior to law school. I might be able to go out now and then while in school, but I knew there would be no lounging around the next day. That was time I couldn’t afford to waste.
The first year of law school was advertised to be like a full time job, and it was like that and more. Especially in the weeks leading up to finals; long days of studying followed by late nights at the library were the norm.
I worked really hard and still felt lost on much of the material. Many of the professors said it was normal to feel that way your first year of law school, so I thought it was normal. Many of my friends also said they felt lost. Later I learned my feeling was accurate!
Grades for the first semester came out a few weeks after second semester started. The law school I attended had minimum grade requirements. If those requirements weren’t met after year one, students wouldn’t be able to continue. So first semester grades were a critical benchmark.
I got my grades for first semester, and they were not good. I was pretty far under the minimum grade standards. Even though the school gave you the whole year to meet minimum standards, I certainly was not on pace to meet them.
I had a decision to make. Continue with school and try to get my grades up by the end of second semester, or cut my losses and leave now. In the coming days, I met with smart people I trusted, including the dean of students.
If law school was a football game, I was down by five touchdowns in the first half. My offense couldn’t score, and my defense couldn’t stop the other team. Things weren’t looking good to win.
Leave school now and I’d be reimbursed the entire second semester tuition. Or stay for the second semester, and fight an improbable battle just to meet minimum grade standards.
Student loans for just one semester to cover tuition and living expenses ranged between $15,000-$20,000 so this was not only a huge life decision, but also a very big financial decision.
I followed my gut and the advice of the smart people I talked to. I cut my losses and left law school.
The first week after receiving my first semester grades was kind of a punch to the stomach. I put in a lot of time and effort not only while in law school, but also before getting in.
The LSAT prep course, multiple applications and essays, were time consuming and sometimes stressful. And law school itself was max effort. I gave it everything I had and left nothing on the table.
The first week after deciding to leave school brought the reality that the hard work wasn’t enough, and something I put so much time and effort into was actually over. A week prior I was a law student in my second semester. For several months my life had revolved around going to class and studying, on a mission to complete law school. Now I needed to look for a job.
That reality hit hard and fast. I needed work so I could eat, pay rent, and start paying off the student loans I had accumulated in law school. As much as I would have liked to feel sorry for myself for months on end, I had to quickly pivot and take action.
I’d be lying to you if I said the year after leaving law school wasn’t difficult. My plans revolved around finishing school, and now I was just trying to find gainful employment. As much as I did a good job avoiding feeling sorry for myself, there were still a lot of “what ifs” and frustration with not finishing.
I took a job bartending at a restaurant to make ends meet. It was a part time position, but paid just enough for me to scrape by financially. Being part time, it also gave me time to look for a full time job. It wasn’t what I had envisioned a year ago, but I was at least back on my feet.
A lot of people have asked me over the years if I regretted going to law school since I didn’t make it through. I have never hesitated in answering no. In fact, my answer has become even stronger over the years.
Mark Twain wrote: “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.” Law school is something I did do, and he was right, there is no disappointment in that. I know that I would have regretted not trying at all much more than trying and failing.
In going to law school, I identified a goal, took action, and went for it. As much as I like to win and succeed, there is peace in trying and giving it your best, even if the result isn’t what you want.
I’ve also learned over the years that it’s not all or nothing. There is such a thing as partial success. There are skills I acquired in law school that I still use today.
Public speaking used to be something I’d lose sleep over. In law school, professors randomly called on students in front of over 100 people to answer questions for several minutes about legal cases. Once I was able to do that a few times, my fear of public speaking greatly diminished. I’m a much better public speaker today because of those experiences.
Law school also taught me to think differently about situations and problems. I used to go off on tangents when looking at a problem. Law school teaches you to narrow down the issue, and focus on just the problem. Although I’m still sometimes guilty of going off on tangents, focused thinking has helped me countless times in the last 15 years.
There are numerous other positives about law school, too many to list in one post. And I haven’t even mentioned one of the best things—the lifetime friends I made as we shared the experience together.
I’ve heard people say that failure isn’t an option. I disagree. I think failure is a natural part of the process on the road to success, as long as you’re learning from your mistakes. Failure is just an event, not who you are.
When I think about law school today, it’s with a sense of gratitude and appreciation. Of facing a challenge and following a dream. Even though it didn’t turn out the way I originally thought, it was still a success and I’m all the better for it today.
Is there anything in your life you failed at, but still glad you did it? What in your life have you regretted not doing?
